Dragons

Don't know where I heard or read this quip, but it goes something like this:

"A Zen Master told his student, 'There are always two dragons fighting inside me. One good. One evil.' To which the student replied, 'Which one wins?'

"The one I feed."

I am taking a closer look at the things I intentionally feed in my life. Are they positive things? Or am I feeding the part of myself that criticizes me and holds a negative self-image.

It's a toss up right now. Kind of feeding both equally.

It's time to change that.

I have a journal I receive for Christmas from my beautiful niece. (Hi Christy!) I'm filling it with affirmations.

Affirmations are an odd bird. When I say them out loud, I feel silly. "I love myself. I approve of myself. I love my body." Blah, blah, blah, whatever...because I don't really feel that I love or approve of myself. Not for many of my waking hours. And saying it feels weird. Foolish. Kind of happy to be alone when I'm spouting out all this drivel. :) I've always been sardonic at my best. But positive? Like some goofball fluffy bunny skipping through the room tossing petals from a basket over her shoulder? Not so much. Thank you, drive through.

However,after saying the affirmations consistently over a few weeks, I've noticed a slight change. The good dragon has gained some ground.

It's still a struggle. I have to say in all honesty that a positive mental outlook is completely foreign to me.

A positive attitude is a practice. It's a journey. It's something I do every day and when I find myself straying from my practice, I correct my course.

If you'll excuse me, I have some course correction to do right about now. :)