"Forgiveness is giving up all hope of having a better past." --Lily Tomlin
I find it hard to forgive for two reasons. One is that I often associate forgiveness with condoning someone's behavior toward me.
The second is there is some part of me that believes if I let go of an event, that somehow I will develop amnesia about it and find myself in a similar situation at a later date. Like I will somehow lose the lesson if I let go of the event.
Multiply this times 45 years and you get a bunch of friggin baggage.
It's time to unpack.
I find myself wandering back to the stories I tell myself (previous post). And the resulting beliefs from those stories. Such as if I forgive, I'm condoning the act and if I forget, I will repeat my mistake and find myself in another emotional jackpot. These are beliefs that are direct results of the stories I tell myself.
I've come to realize that forgiveness is an essential part of self care.
I've come to realize I teach others how to treat me.
Therefore, if I'm honoring my true self (as opposed to my ego self), I will attract more positive events and relationships into my life.
I'll let you know how it goes. :)