I can't tell you how many of my female friends suffer from harassment in the grocery store, walking or biking down the street, in parking lots...anywhere you care to name.
Several have been terrorized and pawed at and grabbed when they tried to ignore the offender.
This upsets me.
I have not suffered from this particular malady. Maybe I'm not all that "hot". Maybe it's the years of martial arts training. Maybe I inherited that "You'll be up to your knees in floor if you try it"... look from my mother. But it upsets me anyway.
And I have to wonder...does it really get a guy anywhere to make some kind of filthy comment to a woman alone, trying to do her grocery shopping? Does it get him any dates? Does it accomplish that "main objective"? I don't see how it could. When someone is acting that way toward one of my friends, all I see is jackass.
Even those who don't comment out loud--the ones who drop their heads downwards and to one side when a woman walks past...what, if anything, does that "get" you?
My friends have told me stories about how frightened they were because some guy totally invaded their personal space in the hopes of "getting next to that". My friends didn't know if they were going to be grabbed, hit...or worse.
Afraid to say, "NO!"...that it might cause that individual to snap and accost them. Afraid to say anything at all that might escalate the incident.
They avert their gaze downward in the hopes that he will somehow lose interest and go away. And they feel ashamed. Like they did something to warrant that attention. They tell me how vulnerable and exposed it makes them feel. Defenseless. I hate that my dear friends feel that way.
It's time to speak up. It's time to say, "GET OFF ME!" when someone's in your face. You are less likely to be targeted if you're not afraid to make noise. Forget about the training that nice girls are quiet and composed. Blow the whistle. Spray the mace. Deploy the stun gun. Tell him to back off.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Harvest Time
This fall equinox/harvest moon I've had some time to think about what was planted earlier in the year and what harvest is now coming my way.
I was pretty sure the "seeds" planted earlier SUCKED beyond the telling of it. Turns out, it was all for my highest good and while I knew that, I sure felt differently about it all.
There is still much sorting to be done. The chaos, while somewhat quelled, is not through with me yet. There is much I don't know about the future and that's very hard for me to handle, being a seer and all. I don't see where I will land nor do I see how I will end up financially. The problems that can be solved, have been solved. The rest must wait until a more opportune time. It's simply the best I can do.
I lit candles and burned incense last night, left the TV off and pondered what I have to be grateful for. What came to mind is so much more than I can put into words, even if a good "list' existed. While incredibly uncomfortable, I do feel as though I was provided with a soft landing. There are certainly people worse off than me.
Just days after turning 46, faced with starting everything over...again...even during the times I have the thoughts about the injustice of it all, I still feel blessed. And thankful. The harvest has been better than anything I could have imagined alone.
I was pretty sure the "seeds" planted earlier SUCKED beyond the telling of it. Turns out, it was all for my highest good and while I knew that, I sure felt differently about it all.
There is still much sorting to be done. The chaos, while somewhat quelled, is not through with me yet. There is much I don't know about the future and that's very hard for me to handle, being a seer and all. I don't see where I will land nor do I see how I will end up financially. The problems that can be solved, have been solved. The rest must wait until a more opportune time. It's simply the best I can do.
I lit candles and burned incense last night, left the TV off and pondered what I have to be grateful for. What came to mind is so much more than I can put into words, even if a good "list' existed. While incredibly uncomfortable, I do feel as though I was provided with a soft landing. There are certainly people worse off than me.
Just days after turning 46, faced with starting everything over...again...even during the times I have the thoughts about the injustice of it all, I still feel blessed. And thankful. The harvest has been better than anything I could have imagined alone.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Prosperity Consciousness
Hello! I've been away for awhile!
Found a way to type my blog at home so I can copy and paste later. ::taps forehead:: Figgered it out.
I've written about this before, but I think it bears repeating. I don't know of another time when I've seen so many struggle with money. It truly is a plague of our mass consciousness at this time.
Remember, that for you to have what you need and/or want, you are not taking anything away from anyone else. We each have infinity to work with.
You are not being "selfish" for desiring money nor are you a jerk for wanting a more comfortable life.
Since my ex-boss and most likely the entire Board of Directors decided to re-introduce me to the wild via unemployment, I have given away more money to others than when I was gainfully employed. And I've noticed that I always have what I need, when I need it. It really is remarkable.
Holding onto your money in fear is not how to create prosperity.
How you let your money go is important too. Let it go without attachment and without any agenda of "I should receive because I gave this, and this, and this..." Give. Then forget it.
We've all heard "you reap what you sow" and "it all comes back to you", but how many of us believe, really believe this is so? Your beliefs will attract your experience. Each belief you have seeks validation. And if you believe that life is hard, that money is scarce and that you will always get the short end of the stick no matter what you do, you're right. That will be your experience.
Conversely, if you believe there is plenty for everybody, that people will pay you abundantly for your talents and abilities and that you are richly blessed in every way, you're right. That will be your experience.
Some of us have negative beliefs so deeply ingrained that we might not be aware exactly what we believe with regard to money and prosperity. Indeed, self awareness is one of the keys to prosperity consciousness. We have to root out the negative beliefs that are causing lack in our lives.
So, the obstacle of lack, is actually an opportunity for us to find out more about ourselves and our beliefs. To throw out beliefs that no longer, and probably never did, serve us.
There is another opportunity here to be closer to the Divine--whatever you might call That. Ask for help. Ask for intervention. Ask for guidance to your highest success and/or your Divine Purpose.
The obstacle isn't The Way...it's only the obstacle. A teacher on the path. We are not meant to live in that energy of "obstacle". We're meant to find a way through, give gratitude for the lesson, and move on to better things.
Found a way to type my blog at home so I can copy and paste later. ::taps forehead:: Figgered it out.
I've written about this before, but I think it bears repeating. I don't know of another time when I've seen so many struggle with money. It truly is a plague of our mass consciousness at this time.
Remember, that for you to have what you need and/or want, you are not taking anything away from anyone else. We each have infinity to work with.
You are not being "selfish" for desiring money nor are you a jerk for wanting a more comfortable life.
Since my ex-boss and most likely the entire Board of Directors decided to re-introduce me to the wild via unemployment, I have given away more money to others than when I was gainfully employed. And I've noticed that I always have what I need, when I need it. It really is remarkable.
Holding onto your money in fear is not how to create prosperity.
How you let your money go is important too. Let it go without attachment and without any agenda of "I should receive because I gave this, and this, and this..." Give. Then forget it.
We've all heard "you reap what you sow" and "it all comes back to you", but how many of us believe, really believe this is so? Your beliefs will attract your experience. Each belief you have seeks validation. And if you believe that life is hard, that money is scarce and that you will always get the short end of the stick no matter what you do, you're right. That will be your experience.
Conversely, if you believe there is plenty for everybody, that people will pay you abundantly for your talents and abilities and that you are richly blessed in every way, you're right. That will be your experience.
Some of us have negative beliefs so deeply ingrained that we might not be aware exactly what we believe with regard to money and prosperity. Indeed, self awareness is one of the keys to prosperity consciousness. We have to root out the negative beliefs that are causing lack in our lives.
So, the obstacle of lack, is actually an opportunity for us to find out more about ourselves and our beliefs. To throw out beliefs that no longer, and probably never did, serve us.
There is another opportunity here to be closer to the Divine--whatever you might call That. Ask for help. Ask for intervention. Ask for guidance to your highest success and/or your Divine Purpose.
The obstacle isn't The Way...it's only the obstacle. A teacher on the path. We are not meant to live in that energy of "obstacle". We're meant to find a way through, give gratitude for the lesson, and move on to better things.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Prosperity
I on this subject last week on FaceBook but thought I would review it...for my own purposes, if nothing else.
I find that when I'm focused on dollars and cents that I'm in the energy of lack. It's hard to manifest anything when you believe in lack or feel you are experiencing lack.
My business takes off when I am asking the question, "How may I serve?" This is a perspective of compassion and gratitude. Things start happening very quickly when I am looking at my work from this place.
I read for many clients who come to me saying, "I need, I need, I need..." And while I understand it's necessary to put one's experiences into words, "I need" is a phrase stemming from lack. It stems from "I do not have..."
"I need prosperity." This affirmation also demonstrated lack.
"I have prosperity." This is better, but there is improvement to be made.
"I AM prosperity made manifest, thank you for my wonderful prosperity and for filling every need." This rocks. Not only does it invoke the "I AM" name of Divine Spirit, it honors the "I AM" presence in you, aka: your Higher Self/Buddha nature/Spark of God.
If you are affirming "I AM prosperity", how could you have anything else BUT prosperity?
Because I, too, have my issues with prosperity, I have a gratitude journal. I write down everything I'm grateful for, sometimes for hours off and on. There truly is SO much that I do have. And I have to remind myself of this because I can get into grumpy "I need, I need, I need" mode, too.
Do you pray at mealtime? Many don't, and I have only recently developed the practice. I give thanks for the food and I say thank you for the lives of the animals that were sacrificed so that I could be nourished. I can't help but wonder if a blessed meal is more nourishing that one that isn't.
Affirm that "I AM" that which you desire. Pray as if you have already received it. Receive it graciously and gratefully. Say Thank You for what is provided. All are keys to an abundant life.
I find that when I'm focused on dollars and cents that I'm in the energy of lack. It's hard to manifest anything when you believe in lack or feel you are experiencing lack.
My business takes off when I am asking the question, "How may I serve?" This is a perspective of compassion and gratitude. Things start happening very quickly when I am looking at my work from this place.
I read for many clients who come to me saying, "I need, I need, I need..." And while I understand it's necessary to put one's experiences into words, "I need" is a phrase stemming from lack. It stems from "I do not have..."
"I need prosperity." This affirmation also demonstrated lack.
"I have prosperity." This is better, but there is improvement to be made.
"I AM prosperity made manifest, thank you for my wonderful prosperity and for filling every need." This rocks. Not only does it invoke the "I AM" name of Divine Spirit, it honors the "I AM" presence in you, aka: your Higher Self/Buddha nature/Spark of God.
If you are affirming "I AM prosperity", how could you have anything else BUT prosperity?
Because I, too, have my issues with prosperity, I have a gratitude journal. I write down everything I'm grateful for, sometimes for hours off and on. There truly is SO much that I do have. And I have to remind myself of this because I can get into grumpy "I need, I need, I need" mode, too.
Do you pray at mealtime? Many don't, and I have only recently developed the practice. I give thanks for the food and I say thank you for the lives of the animals that were sacrificed so that I could be nourished. I can't help but wonder if a blessed meal is more nourishing that one that isn't.
Affirm that "I AM" that which you desire. Pray as if you have already received it. Receive it graciously and gratefully. Say Thank You for what is provided. All are keys to an abundant life.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
My Religion is Kindness--HH The Dalai Lama
I have a decree I give (like a prayer) that asks that whomever I'm in contact with today, let it be meaningful. Even if all I have to give them is kindness. It is my hope that anyone I have interaction with will come away from it feeling uplifted and appreciated.
The task is not as easy as one might think. There is an unusually high amount of discord in the neighborhood where I live and work. I'm noticing people having a difficult time tolerating one another. I'm especially noticing this driving on 39th Street. All you have to do is be stopped waiting to make a left turn and eventually, someone will pull up behind you, squeal their tires to get into the other lane to pass you, then reel it back into the left land to continue their journey.
I just stepped outside to mail a letter this afternoon and when I turned around to cross the street to go back to my office, I noticed a Yellow cab ready to turn left, which would have put him in my path. So I stood on the curb waiting until he turned or until I made eye contact with the driver so I could be sure he knew I was there.
Well, he began his left turn and as I stood there waiting for him to be on his way, he stopped and made this dramatic, furious arm gesture back and forth to be sure I knew that he wanted me to cross the street RIGHT NOW because he was late for I don't even know what...you really had to be there to see how overtly rude this man was being when I had absolutely no problem waiting for him to make his turn and drive past.
I find this fascinating.
How can we hope for anything better in our lives when we can't even tolerate others peacefully going on about their business?
I used to read a lot of blogs that seemed to criticize everything you can name but offered no solutions on how to improve things. Just the absence of bitching all the time is one way to improve things. I actually feel better not reading those blogs anymore.
What if...just for today...we were kind and tolerant with everyone we came in contact with, both here and on the streets? What if we offered real suggestions or volunteered to help where we see programs faltering? Maybe offer something substantial up front instead of waiting for something to fail and offering my least favorite hind-sight comment, "Well I coulda toldya that..."
Anything even remotely positive would be an improvement.
The task is not as easy as one might think. There is an unusually high amount of discord in the neighborhood where I live and work. I'm noticing people having a difficult time tolerating one another. I'm especially noticing this driving on 39th Street. All you have to do is be stopped waiting to make a left turn and eventually, someone will pull up behind you, squeal their tires to get into the other lane to pass you, then reel it back into the left land to continue their journey.
I just stepped outside to mail a letter this afternoon and when I turned around to cross the street to go back to my office, I noticed a Yellow cab ready to turn left, which would have put him in my path. So I stood on the curb waiting until he turned or until I made eye contact with the driver so I could be sure he knew I was there.
Well, he began his left turn and as I stood there waiting for him to be on his way, he stopped and made this dramatic, furious arm gesture back and forth to be sure I knew that he wanted me to cross the street RIGHT NOW because he was late for I don't even know what...you really had to be there to see how overtly rude this man was being when I had absolutely no problem waiting for him to make his turn and drive past.
I find this fascinating.
How can we hope for anything better in our lives when we can't even tolerate others peacefully going on about their business?
I used to read a lot of blogs that seemed to criticize everything you can name but offered no solutions on how to improve things. Just the absence of bitching all the time is one way to improve things. I actually feel better not reading those blogs anymore.
What if...just for today...we were kind and tolerant with everyone we came in contact with, both here and on the streets? What if we offered real suggestions or volunteered to help where we see programs faltering? Maybe offer something substantial up front instead of waiting for something to fail and offering my least favorite hind-sight comment, "Well I coulda toldya that..."
Anything even remotely positive would be an improvement.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Living my Spirit
I've been thinking a lot about living my life in harmony with the Divine Spirit within me.
When I'm honoring my Spirit, I have inner peace and an external world full of wonderful surprises and discoveries.
When I'm not honoring my Spirit, my serenity is lost and I'm loaded with worry, anger, and concerns. When I'm not honoring my Spirit, I care what other people think about me and whether or not they "get" me or appreciate my contributions.
I'm not willing to live my life in a state of inner chaos anymore.
Honoring my Spirit guarantees good things will come from losses and disappointments.
I keep my heart open and keep moving forward.
When I'm honoring my Spirit, I have inner peace and an external world full of wonderful surprises and discoveries.
When I'm not honoring my Spirit, my serenity is lost and I'm loaded with worry, anger, and concerns. When I'm not honoring my Spirit, I care what other people think about me and whether or not they "get" me or appreciate my contributions.
I'm not willing to live my life in a state of inner chaos anymore.
Honoring my Spirit guarantees good things will come from losses and disappointments.
I keep my heart open and keep moving forward.
Monday, April 26, 2010
What do you support?
I've been reading a lot of local blogs and I find many of them compelling.
I've enjoyed reading the sociological discussions. Some have been over my head,and hence, a wonderful learning opportunity. I've been very grateful for that.
A lot of blogs I've read have been ranting and raving about what's bad, what will never work, what we're against...is anybody FOR anything? If things aren't working, does anyone have a possible solution to the problem? Or is everybody an idiot, a d-bag, a moron, a failure, an obstacle to your happiness or convenience?
www.acomplaintfreeworld.com
I am going to try to go about my business, all week, without complaining. If something needs to be handled, I will bring it up in the most positive light possible and try to come up with a solution or two before I begin talking about it.
Developing.
I've enjoyed reading the sociological discussions. Some have been over my head,and hence, a wonderful learning opportunity. I've been very grateful for that.
A lot of blogs I've read have been ranting and raving about what's bad, what will never work, what we're against...is anybody FOR anything? If things aren't working, does anyone have a possible solution to the problem? Or is everybody an idiot, a d-bag, a moron, a failure, an obstacle to your happiness or convenience?
www.acomplaintfreeworld.com
I am going to try to go about my business, all week, without complaining. If something needs to be handled, I will bring it up in the most positive light possible and try to come up with a solution or two before I begin talking about it.
Developing.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Personal Responsibility.
If you're over 18, use some. If you're a minor, parents--teach some.
Seem simple? It is.
Seem simple? It is.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Appearances
I'm middle aged. I look like a middle aged woman. I'm shaped like a middle aged woman. That is what I am here to experience at this stage in my life. The middle part.
I've heard people say "40 is the new 30". I don't want to be 30. I've already done that. I want to experience 45. Just the way I am.
Why do we argue with reality? Why do we chase every experience except the one that is before us?
I celebrate being a woman. I celebrate my hard earned wisdom. I wear a bindi jewel on my forehead. It's there among the wrinkles and laugh lines.
I celebrate being middle aged.
I've heard people say "40 is the new 30". I don't want to be 30. I've already done that. I want to experience 45. Just the way I am.
Why do we argue with reality? Why do we chase every experience except the one that is before us?
I celebrate being a woman. I celebrate my hard earned wisdom. I wear a bindi jewel on my forehead. It's there among the wrinkles and laugh lines.
I celebrate being middle aged.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Debt Free
I'm working on a debt management plan that will have me completely debt free in four years. I recommend it.
I have been carrying a credit card balance for several years, hoping for a miracle to get ahead on the payments. Just before the new legislation passed (and it became illegal), the credit card company upped my rate to 29.99%. I would never have gotten out of debt with all that interest.
It was a difficult thing to look at because I had a lot of shame attached to the fact that I got into debt in the first place. But it's done and there's actually a beginning and an end to it. The company I used, Money Management International, also helped me create a budget I can live with while I'm in the program.
And it doesn't affect my credit rating. I can finish the program and start looking at owning a house.
Credit counseling has come a long way.
I have been carrying a credit card balance for several years, hoping for a miracle to get ahead on the payments. Just before the new legislation passed (and it became illegal), the credit card company upped my rate to 29.99%. I would never have gotten out of debt with all that interest.
It was a difficult thing to look at because I had a lot of shame attached to the fact that I got into debt in the first place. But it's done and there's actually a beginning and an end to it. The company I used, Money Management International, also helped me create a budget I can live with while I'm in the program.
And it doesn't affect my credit rating. I can finish the program and start looking at owning a house.
Credit counseling has come a long way.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Ganesha
So...my wonderful, dear friend gives me a carved ruby pendant of the Hindu elephant-headed god, Ganesha. Remover of obstacles. Among other characteristics. Very kind and loving to his devotees.
Since I've received this pendant, my tarot reading business, mentoring practice, and Reiki practice have taken OFF! It is truly remarkable!
My entire weekend is booked solid and I just received another call for a tarot reading!
Of course, since receiving this wonderful ruby gift, I have been chanting his mantra: OM GUM GANAPATAYAY NAMAHA. Just a few times. OK, quite a few times.
But, WOW! All of a sudden, I have a weekend devoted to and jam-packed with everything I love to do!
Since I've received this pendant, my tarot reading business, mentoring practice, and Reiki practice have taken OFF! It is truly remarkable!
My entire weekend is booked solid and I just received another call for a tarot reading!
Of course, since receiving this wonderful ruby gift, I have been chanting his mantra: OM GUM GANAPATAYAY NAMAHA. Just a few times. OK, quite a few times.
But, WOW! All of a sudden, I have a weekend devoted to and jam-packed with everything I love to do!
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
13 Indigenous Grandmothers
www.grandmotherscouncil.com
I support the 13 International Indigenous Grandmothers Council.
In our society, the elderly are medicated and shut away. Out of sight, out of mind. I feel we rob them of their productivity and we often take away meaning from their lives.
On purpose? I don't think so. Certainly not in all cases.
It's culturally accepted here that when we reach a certain age, we become a burden to our family. Useless. Without purpose. Sick. Old.
A dear friend of mine has reminded me of how precious this resource of older people really is. They've been everywhere we're going and know the way. They've learned the hard lessons. They should be honored. Venerated. We should sit at their feet and allow them to impart to us all that they've experienced.
This applies to all of our older people from all backgrounds and walks of life.
I can think of times I've dismissed someone's opinion because they were old. I'm not proud of that.
I've changed my mind.
I support the 13 International Indigenous Grandmothers Council.
In our society, the elderly are medicated and shut away. Out of sight, out of mind. I feel we rob them of their productivity and we often take away meaning from their lives.
On purpose? I don't think so. Certainly not in all cases.
It's culturally accepted here that when we reach a certain age, we become a burden to our family. Useless. Without purpose. Sick. Old.
A dear friend of mine has reminded me of how precious this resource of older people really is. They've been everywhere we're going and know the way. They've learned the hard lessons. They should be honored. Venerated. We should sit at their feet and allow them to impart to us all that they've experienced.
This applies to all of our older people from all backgrounds and walks of life.
I can think of times I've dismissed someone's opinion because they were old. I'm not proud of that.
I've changed my mind.
Charity
I can't think of anything better to help others and to help me get out of my own drama than performing acts of charity.
Whether it's donating clothes or "extras" around the house, adopting a soldier who doesn't receive mail overseas, or calling a friend and offering a free tarot reading just "because", the practice of charity has enriched my life incredibly.
It is a gift for me every bit as much as it may be a gift for someone else.
Whether it's donating clothes or "extras" around the house, adopting a soldier who doesn't receive mail overseas, or calling a friend and offering a free tarot reading just "because", the practice of charity has enriched my life incredibly.
It is a gift for me every bit as much as it may be a gift for someone else.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Prayer Box
I have a wooden hinged box that I keep on my altar. Inside, there are many pieces of parchment paper with the needs and requests of other people.
When I hear that someone needs a new job, money, healing, an affordable place to live...whatever...I write it down on a piece of parchment, fold it up, and place it inside the box.
Each night, I light a candle and put it on top of the box to send those requests to Spirit for fulfillment. Once the request is inside the box, I consider it done.
I've received some very interesting stories from friends who have received sudden "windfalls" of good fortune. :) None of them had any idea I was doing this little practice.
It works.
When I hear that someone needs a new job, money, healing, an affordable place to live...whatever...I write it down on a piece of parchment, fold it up, and place it inside the box.
Each night, I light a candle and put it on top of the box to send those requests to Spirit for fulfillment. Once the request is inside the box, I consider it done.
I've received some very interesting stories from friends who have received sudden "windfalls" of good fortune. :) None of them had any idea I was doing this little practice.
It works.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Valentine's Day Update
I adopted a soldier for Valentine's Day.
http://soldiersangels.org/join-or-adopt.html
I highly recommend it.
With much love and many hugs till after V-Day,
jules
http://soldiersangels.org/join-or-adopt.html
I highly recommend it.
With much love and many hugs till after V-Day,
jules
When is a person "over it"?
That's been an interesting question for me. When am I "over it"? How long after the breakup do I remain dating kryptonite until I'm deemed suitable for dating once again?
One person told me it takes one half of the total time spent in the relationship to get "over it". That works out to roughly three and a half years. That's not gonna work for me. I am NOT spending that kind of time on this.
Maybe it's not an "over it" proposition. Maybe it's an I'm "through with it" kind of thing. I've gotten through it and I feel that I am through WITH it. I don't want him back. I know he doesn't want me back. It's just...done.
It's not about having hard feelings or bad feelings. The last time I saw him, I didn't have any feelings one way or the other. He was only dropping off the last of my things but even at that, it felt like a friend I hadn't seen in awhile had dropped by. It feels like the relationship was lifetimes ago.
I have such wonderful fulfilling friendships and truly exceptional tarot clients, I know I'll never be bored or lacking a social life.
It truly is all for the best after all.
One person told me it takes one half of the total time spent in the relationship to get "over it". That works out to roughly three and a half years. That's not gonna work for me. I am NOT spending that kind of time on this.
Maybe it's not an "over it" proposition. Maybe it's an I'm "through with it" kind of thing. I've gotten through it and I feel that I am through WITH it. I don't want him back. I know he doesn't want me back. It's just...done.
It's not about having hard feelings or bad feelings. The last time I saw him, I didn't have any feelings one way or the other. He was only dropping off the last of my things but even at that, it felt like a friend I hadn't seen in awhile had dropped by. It feels like the relationship was lifetimes ago.
I have such wonderful fulfilling friendships and truly exceptional tarot clients, I know I'll never be bored or lacking a social life.
It truly is all for the best after all.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Gratitude
I moved out of my (then) boyfriend's house with only what he said I could take, my clothes, my tarot decks, my books, and my rocks. (lots of rocks)
I now have a beautifully furnished home. Everything I have, someone gave me when I needed it.
I am so beyond grateful it's difficult to express.
I give without a second thought. If you need it, and I've got it, I will give it to you.
Receiving was kind of different for me. Uncomfortable. At first, I felt ashamed to be in a position where people had to help me. Then, I thought of all the people I've helped in one way or another and I wouldn't expect them to feel ashamed...so why was I feeling ashamed? It's a compelling question, yet I still struggle with receiving charity. I guess it just feels like a "backwards" flow for me.
One thing I've felt all along is monumental, epic gratitude. I have all I need and better than I thought I would have, given the circumstances, finances, etc.
My humble advice? If you have it to give...give. Without attachment. Be generous. Give the waitress an extra dollar more than you'd planned. Give a free gift or service to someone in need. Be a shoulder to cry on and someone to listen without judgment or hesitation. Don't abandon your friends no matter how needy they might become or how busy you might be. Give. With no expectation that it will ever come back to you.
Because it all returns to you when your need is dire.
I now have a beautifully furnished home. Everything I have, someone gave me when I needed it.
I am so beyond grateful it's difficult to express.
I give without a second thought. If you need it, and I've got it, I will give it to you.
Receiving was kind of different for me. Uncomfortable. At first, I felt ashamed to be in a position where people had to help me. Then, I thought of all the people I've helped in one way or another and I wouldn't expect them to feel ashamed...so why was I feeling ashamed? It's a compelling question, yet I still struggle with receiving charity. I guess it just feels like a "backwards" flow for me.
One thing I've felt all along is monumental, epic gratitude. I have all I need and better than I thought I would have, given the circumstances, finances, etc.
My humble advice? If you have it to give...give. Without attachment. Be generous. Give the waitress an extra dollar more than you'd planned. Give a free gift or service to someone in need. Be a shoulder to cry on and someone to listen without judgment or hesitation. Don't abandon your friends no matter how needy they might become or how busy you might be. Give. With no expectation that it will ever come back to you.
Because it all returns to you when your need is dire.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Regular Guys
I can appreciate guys who lift weights and try to stay fit. But I wanted to take a moment to say something about regular guys.
I like regular guys. A few extra pounds or a bit on the skinny side, doesn't matter.
I like regular guys who dress in a t-shirt or sweater and jeans. You don't have to dress up for me. Ever.
I appreciate a regular guy, pleasant in appearance and hygiene, but just...normal. I don't need super dooper muscles or crazy great fitness. I don't need movie star looks. Some chemistry between us is a must. But come as you are, regular guy, and we're good.
I like regular guys. A few extra pounds or a bit on the skinny side, doesn't matter.
I like regular guys who dress in a t-shirt or sweater and jeans. You don't have to dress up for me. Ever.
I appreciate a regular guy, pleasant in appearance and hygiene, but just...normal. I don't need super dooper muscles or crazy great fitness. I don't need movie star looks. Some chemistry between us is a must. But come as you are, regular guy, and we're good.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
How do you define racism?
I would say it's any negative expression about someone's race. At it's simplest.
Does that include white people? Because I'm reading a lot of blogs about the "vanilla privileged white" people that casts quite the negative light on white people. Isn't that racist?
I believe that I am privileged. I'm certain that I'm white. I'm grateful for everything I've been given and for everything I've earned in this life. I consider myself tremendously blessed with wonderful and diverse friendships.
I consider giving to be an important aspect of my life's purpose. Whether it's donating money, giving healing work or spiritual counseling to someone in need who is unable to pay, sweeping the snow off my neighbor's SUV while waiting for my car to warm up...these are some of the things I try to give to others. It's not much, I know. I wish it could be more.
I'm not trying to say that every person of every race is good or bad. I'm not trying to say that I'm better than anyone else. Or worse. I'm equal.
The word equal, to me, means of equal value. It doesn't necessarily mean "all the same". While I believe we all have some things in common, I don't presume to say that we're all the same. But we are all of equal worth.
And every day I read disparaging essays about white people and in particular, white women. I read about how racist we are. I find that interesting.
Does that include white people? Because I'm reading a lot of blogs about the "vanilla privileged white" people that casts quite the negative light on white people. Isn't that racist?
I believe that I am privileged. I'm certain that I'm white. I'm grateful for everything I've been given and for everything I've earned in this life. I consider myself tremendously blessed with wonderful and diverse friendships.
I consider giving to be an important aspect of my life's purpose. Whether it's donating money, giving healing work or spiritual counseling to someone in need who is unable to pay, sweeping the snow off my neighbor's SUV while waiting for my car to warm up...these are some of the things I try to give to others. It's not much, I know. I wish it could be more.
I'm not trying to say that every person of every race is good or bad. I'm not trying to say that I'm better than anyone else. Or worse. I'm equal.
The word equal, to me, means of equal value. It doesn't necessarily mean "all the same". While I believe we all have some things in common, I don't presume to say that we're all the same. But we are all of equal worth.
And every day I read disparaging essays about white people and in particular, white women. I read about how racist we are. I find that interesting.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Haiti...and other tragedies
I've heard people comment (including myself) that while it's a great thing that people are contributing to the earthquake victims in Haiti, some are wondering what we're doing here at home to help people. I think it's a valid question.
I don't mean to minimize the need for help in Haiti. I have contributed. I watched a telethon on 14 channels to aid Haitian victims. It's a good thing.
But I wonder, where was the telethon for the Hurricane Katrina victims? I know people, including myself, contributed as much as they could. I know that celebrities contributed heavily. I also know that it took FIMA five days just to get water to the Super Dome. So, really, how are we doing? What does our grade card look like with regard to taking care of each other here at home?
I'm not saying that American needs are more important than anyone else's needs. What I'm saying is that the American people's needs are AS important as anyone else's needs.
And if there was a time that Americans responded with this kind of equipment, money, and supplies for other Americans...I missed it.
I continue to pray for the victims and families affected by the earthquake in Haiti.
I don't mean to minimize the need for help in Haiti. I have contributed. I watched a telethon on 14 channels to aid Haitian victims. It's a good thing.
But I wonder, where was the telethon for the Hurricane Katrina victims? I know people, including myself, contributed as much as they could. I know that celebrities contributed heavily. I also know that it took FIMA five days just to get water to the Super Dome. So, really, how are we doing? What does our grade card look like with regard to taking care of each other here at home?
I'm not saying that American needs are more important than anyone else's needs. What I'm saying is that the American people's needs are AS important as anyone else's needs.
And if there was a time that Americans responded with this kind of equipment, money, and supplies for other Americans...I missed it.
I continue to pray for the victims and families affected by the earthquake in Haiti.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Valentine's Day
I just walked into a midtown drugstore and was immediately struck by a multitude of heart shaped boxes of candy, pink flowers, red teddy bears, cards of every shape and shade of pink--it looked like the entire store was hosed down with Pepto Bismol.
As you may have guessed, I have no one to be my Valentine.
I'm going to donate what I would have spent on Valentine's Day to Haiti earthquake relief.
Even when I'm pouting, I have priorities. :)
As you may have guessed, I have no one to be my Valentine.
I'm going to donate what I would have spent on Valentine's Day to Haiti earthquake relief.
Even when I'm pouting, I have priorities. :)
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Dragons
Don't know where I heard or read this quip, but it goes something like this:
"A Zen Master told his student, 'There are always two dragons fighting inside me. One good. One evil.' To which the student replied, 'Which one wins?'
"The one I feed."
I am taking a closer look at the things I intentionally feed in my life. Are they positive things? Or am I feeding the part of myself that criticizes me and holds a negative self-image.
It's a toss up right now. Kind of feeding both equally.
It's time to change that.
I have a journal I receive for Christmas from my beautiful niece. (Hi Christy!) I'm filling it with affirmations.
Affirmations are an odd bird. When I say them out loud, I feel silly. "I love myself. I approve of myself. I love my body." Blah, blah, blah, whatever...because I don't really feel that I love or approve of myself. Not for many of my waking hours. And saying it feels weird. Foolish. Kind of happy to be alone when I'm spouting out all this drivel. :) I've always been sardonic at my best. But positive? Like some goofball fluffy bunny skipping through the room tossing petals from a basket over her shoulder? Not so much. Thank you, drive through.
However,after saying the affirmations consistently over a few weeks, I've noticed a slight change. The good dragon has gained some ground.
It's still a struggle. I have to say in all honesty that a positive mental outlook is completely foreign to me.
A positive attitude is a practice. It's a journey. It's something I do every day and when I find myself straying from my practice, I correct my course.
If you'll excuse me, I have some course correction to do right about now. :)
"A Zen Master told his student, 'There are always two dragons fighting inside me. One good. One evil.' To which the student replied, 'Which one wins?'
"The one I feed."
I am taking a closer look at the things I intentionally feed in my life. Are they positive things? Or am I feeding the part of myself that criticizes me and holds a negative self-image.
It's a toss up right now. Kind of feeding both equally.
It's time to change that.
I have a journal I receive for Christmas from my beautiful niece. (Hi Christy!) I'm filling it with affirmations.
Affirmations are an odd bird. When I say them out loud, I feel silly. "I love myself. I approve of myself. I love my body." Blah, blah, blah, whatever...because I don't really feel that I love or approve of myself. Not for many of my waking hours. And saying it feels weird. Foolish. Kind of happy to be alone when I'm spouting out all this drivel. :) I've always been sardonic at my best. But positive? Like some goofball fluffy bunny skipping through the room tossing petals from a basket over her shoulder? Not so much. Thank you, drive through.
However,after saying the affirmations consistently over a few weeks, I've noticed a slight change. The good dragon has gained some ground.
It's still a struggle. I have to say in all honesty that a positive mental outlook is completely foreign to me.
A positive attitude is a practice. It's a journey. It's something I do every day and when I find myself straying from my practice, I correct my course.
If you'll excuse me, I have some course correction to do right about now. :)
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Forgiveness
"Forgiveness is giving up all hope of having a better past." --Lily Tomlin
I find it hard to forgive for two reasons. One is that I often associate forgiveness with condoning someone's behavior toward me.
The second is there is some part of me that believes if I let go of an event, that somehow I will develop amnesia about it and find myself in a similar situation at a later date. Like I will somehow lose the lesson if I let go of the event.
Multiply this times 45 years and you get a bunch of friggin baggage.
It's time to unpack.
I find myself wandering back to the stories I tell myself (previous post). And the resulting beliefs from those stories. Such as if I forgive, I'm condoning the act and if I forget, I will repeat my mistake and find myself in another emotional jackpot. These are beliefs that are direct results of the stories I tell myself.
I've come to realize that forgiveness is an essential part of self care.
I've come to realize I teach others how to treat me.
Therefore, if I'm honoring my true self (as opposed to my ego self), I will attract more positive events and relationships into my life.
I'll let you know how it goes. :)
I find it hard to forgive for two reasons. One is that I often associate forgiveness with condoning someone's behavior toward me.
The second is there is some part of me that believes if I let go of an event, that somehow I will develop amnesia about it and find myself in a similar situation at a later date. Like I will somehow lose the lesson if I let go of the event.
Multiply this times 45 years and you get a bunch of friggin baggage.
It's time to unpack.
I find myself wandering back to the stories I tell myself (previous post). And the resulting beliefs from those stories. Such as if I forgive, I'm condoning the act and if I forget, I will repeat my mistake and find myself in another emotional jackpot. These are beliefs that are direct results of the stories I tell myself.
I've come to realize that forgiveness is an essential part of self care.
I've come to realize I teach others how to treat me.
Therefore, if I'm honoring my true self (as opposed to my ego self), I will attract more positive events and relationships into my life.
I'll let you know how it goes. :)
Friday, January 15, 2010
My Story
My story is I'm learning how not to have stories.
My stories tell a tale of dysfunction, abuse and neglect on the part of others and general repeated stupidity on my part. The more I tell these stories, the worse I feel about myself, my life, and the world in general. And I've told them for decades.
Most who know me know that my relationship of seven years ended in September, 2009. Since the breakup, I have been trying to heal the pain of the separation and abandonment but at the same time, telling the story (again and again) of hurt and betrayal was keeping the pain fresh. Reliving every little nuance and detail. The conversations with him in my mind that kept me in an agitated state but (the conversations) were imaginary and never actually happened. I was constantly agitated over...something that hadn't happened! Doesn't get much crazier than that.
And the desperate need to know WHY! If you want to drive a Virgo insane, break up with her and don't give her a logical reason! The reason was left to my imagination. And my imagination took me to some awful places.
As it turned out, the "reason" accompanied him to his family's Christmas dinner in December. Which added to the story and took me to all sort of OTHER awful imaginary places. How long had this been going on? He's known her for years. I've sat right next to him on the couch when he's taken her calls. I've asked how she's doing. Blah, blah, blah...
The only way through the pain was to let go but rehashing and modifying the "story" kept me holding on.
It still hurts like hell. As much as I would love to cast him in the part of "bad guy", as a grown up, I realize that the truth of all this pain is that I loved him and he didn't choose me. As I write this, my eyes filling with tears, it only serves as proof that not all of our "stories" are worthy of sharing again and again. They're just stories. And these stories lead to a path of bitterness and distrust. I've navigated that path all my life and I know where it leads. This time, I'm headed a in a different direction.
I'm exchanging bitterness and distrust for discernment. I'm keeping compassion and empathy for others. And for myself. I'm adding self care and balance in all things. A beautiful home that serves as a temple for my Spirit. Serenity. Peace. And I will never give up on love.
My stories tell a tale of dysfunction, abuse and neglect on the part of others and general repeated stupidity on my part. The more I tell these stories, the worse I feel about myself, my life, and the world in general. And I've told them for decades.
Most who know me know that my relationship of seven years ended in September, 2009. Since the breakup, I have been trying to heal the pain of the separation and abandonment but at the same time, telling the story (again and again) of hurt and betrayal was keeping the pain fresh. Reliving every little nuance and detail. The conversations with him in my mind that kept me in an agitated state but (the conversations) were imaginary and never actually happened. I was constantly agitated over...something that hadn't happened! Doesn't get much crazier than that.
And the desperate need to know WHY! If you want to drive a Virgo insane, break up with her and don't give her a logical reason! The reason was left to my imagination. And my imagination took me to some awful places.
As it turned out, the "reason" accompanied him to his family's Christmas dinner in December. Which added to the story and took me to all sort of OTHER awful imaginary places. How long had this been going on? He's known her for years. I've sat right next to him on the couch when he's taken her calls. I've asked how she's doing. Blah, blah, blah...
The only way through the pain was to let go but rehashing and modifying the "story" kept me holding on.
It still hurts like hell. As much as I would love to cast him in the part of "bad guy", as a grown up, I realize that the truth of all this pain is that I loved him and he didn't choose me. As I write this, my eyes filling with tears, it only serves as proof that not all of our "stories" are worthy of sharing again and again. They're just stories. And these stories lead to a path of bitterness and distrust. I've navigated that path all my life and I know where it leads. This time, I'm headed a in a different direction.
I'm exchanging bitterness and distrust for discernment. I'm keeping compassion and empathy for others. And for myself. I'm adding self care and balance in all things. A beautiful home that serves as a temple for my Spirit. Serenity. Peace. And I will never give up on love.
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